To Occur to Myself: A Poem

To Occur to Myself

To see myself, not as I use me but as I experience me.

A mirror for one brief second as the flapping stops and the waters still
a face is glimpsed
a shear face that dwarfs the reflecting ripples that play upon my surface.

To enter dreaming awake,
to digest what is known there in front of me
whole
and awake to life bigger than me at the breakfast nook with care and sorrow
and spoon and mouth
and lips that speak truth only when stumped by letters spelled in the mind of creation clutched in chubby cherub fingers,
flitting about the word I can't remember the meaning to...
but say anyway.

on these lips that move
directed by a life circumstance that offers up layers of petals around a seed as small as lifetimes of preparation and as vital as that breath I just
now
took.

Its all immensely important, surely you see that?
Isn't it more than egotism that places you and I together in the heart of the entire everything?
Gods drink from the pool that I don't know that I am.
Heavenly beings feast upon the life that I unconsciously lead,
now as a blind man,
now as a drunk falling asleep on the shoulder of a me that pretends to forget what I learned from me when I was that sorrow and care
and the breakfast nook was my home with the spoon that asked questions of my lips that supplied answers spoken of in me.